So, I’m currently sitting in the Glendora Costco parking lot.
The sun is shining, the lot is huge, and I swear I can smell a hint of a chicken bake in the distance. Let me start by saying: it’s fucking incredible.
But that may or may not be the point of this tale.
Recently, I’ve been waking up in the mornings stressed—or at least slightly stressed out—about all the work I didn’t get done the day before. And then, since I’d feel so stressed, I’d immediately get up and work. This morning was exactly like that, but with two giant chocolate labs sprawled across my arms and legs.
I’m thinking about how much I’m not doing and I’m also on a dog sit? Typical.
And then, as I went to grab my phone to answer emails, out of the blue, I had a thought: Why not go for a hike?
Interesting. Hiking is one of those things that I say I want to do, and say I will do, but it never seems to happen. So I looked up a place nearby. Six minutes away?! Sweet.
And then I hear: “Well, you haven’t eaten breakfast yet. What if you lose energy while on the walk and pass out? What if you have to poop and can’t find a bathroom? What if these dogs poop all over the house while you're gone?! WAIT your shoes aren’t right. What if you slip, hit your head on a rock, and your brains all ooze out?! WHAT IF YOU GET KIDNAPPED BY FOREST ELVES (which I secretly kinda want)?!”
You can see where I’m going with this. (Maybe not the forest elves part).
And then I heard a voice: “Or something else may happen.”
Hm. I like that.
So I drive over and—OH GOD I LOSE SIGNAL. Naturally, I panic. “Oh god, what if all the things I listed earlier happen? YOU CAN’T LOOK ANYTHING UP. WHY CAN’T YOU LOOK UP THE PATH? AAAAAH. WHAT IF IT’S SUPER CRAZY AND YOU WILL NEVER RETURN AND HAVE TO BECOME A ROCK—”
And then I heard it again: “Or something else may happen.”
So I walked across the parking lot and found a map.
Then I found the trail head by using the map.
Then I saw two people walking down the trail.
Then three.
One of which was wearing what looked like bright pink pajama pants?
Yeah, I think I got this.
And them BAM, I hiked!!
Well, not the full hike. There was a point where I got to some boulders and I didn’t see anyone anymore and I was jealous because I was sure they were all taken to a magical land and I wasn’t.
Or maybe they just got further ahead because I stopped and debated for five minutes whether to take home a rock shaped like a striped grey eggplant or an abnormally long acorn. (Surprise: I left them both).
Then as I sat back in my car, taking in the fact that I didn’t die, I thought,
“Oh shit… do you want to go to COSTCO right now?! That would be fucking sick.” Because Costco is the best.
“But…oh, well, what if you go and it’s packed? Then you wasted time, and you’re stuck there, and WAIT, YOU STILL HAVEN’T EATEN. YOU MUST BE STARVED EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN’T FEELING HUNGRY. WAIT, NO, WHAT IF YOU POOP IN COSTCO—”
And again the thought appeared:
“Well, Costco has a bathroom.
And something else may happen.”
So I drive to Costco and pull up to the gas station. The gas station Google said would be so packed first thing in the morning. The gas station you should get to before 8:00 AM because otherwise you’ll just be stuck there. The gas station I’d drive 16 minutes to and not even end up getting gas.
And it was almost completely empty.
My jaw dropped.
So, as I now sit cheerfully with a gas-filled car waiting to go into Costco, I think about the morning so far. All of the planning I thought I needed to do something different? I didn’t need it. All of the things I thought would happen? Didn’t happen—or at least not to the degree I feared. (I almost ate it by slipping on a rock…next thing to do: get shoes with traction).
Even though the hike wasn’t anything crazy, I saw a river (oooOOOooo!). It was still really nice to feel like I did something different, and everything didn’t have to be perfect.
Maybe, little by little, I can begin to trust that no matter what the situation is, I’ll be able to navigate it without having all of the pieces perfectly in place. I’m always ready for everything to go wrong, so why not trust that I’m prepared for those things, and see how things could go differently? Why not allow myself to just have the experience? And then go buy better shoes for next time!
And now, I must leave you all for my next experience: Glendora Costco.
We then see Rachel get out of her car and close the door.
She pats the top of her car twice, smiles to herself, and slowly walks toward the Costco entrance.
Narrator: Rachel did, in fact, have a wonderful experience. So wonderful that she now questions if she will ever go to any other Costco again. She bought a Pokémon holiday calendar. Did she need it? No. Is it even December yet? No. But it was only $44. She will spend days afterwards wondering whether it was actually all a dream or not.
